2011.

I'm finally back to blogging.  I can't say I'm busy for the holiday because frankly, all I did for the holidays are work & watching videos (mostly csi, watch from season 1!).

I'm officially out from jjc & starting j1 all over again at pjc.   If you asked me, sure, it does hurt to leave all my clique in jjc and not to mention the need to adapt to a new environment won't be easy at all.  I don't think I have a choice anyway, I just don't want to struggle in chinese any longer.  I tried & I still can't score.  Scoring in a lvls is a MUST so chinese is really not an option because passing is simply not sufficient to get me any place in university.

Okay, forget school for the time being. 

I haven't really shop for quite some time, friends from either secondary school and jc are all busy with stuff.  Also, falling out with some of my friends also decrease the times I go out just to shop/slack/eat.

A little wishlist for 2011:
1.  Get matte nail polish.  (Even if I don't use nail polish often.)
2.  Get good grades.  (I'm satisfied with Cs.)
3.  Go shoppingggggggg!  (I swear I didn't shop as much this holiday okay!)

Ehm, I've no idea what to add on to my wishlist already?  Usually my wishlist can go on and on and on....................  Guess I already got what I need?  But wants are unlimited.  :)

Okay back to my videos!  :)

Inspired.

Watched ' Eat Pray Love' today.  It's really hard to comprehend it but somehow it inspired me.  Not the part about god really, but the part whereby 'ruins' can lead to 'change' & of course, some other points.  In short, the movie really inspired me. 

I feel that this whole year is a complete waste of time & even till now, when it's the holidays, I feel, well, alone.  Yes, alone is the exact word.  I don't go out often, not even to shop, not really catching up with friends and simply doing things by myself  like, going to work, watching videos/movies, listening to music & playing lame facebook games.

I REALLY feel left behind, so disconnected with the world, the people around me.  Even my facebook activities are very limited.

I don't feel very me. 

However, I guess this just happens to people.  I don't think it only happens to me, probably everyone felt this way once in a while but somehow they get over it and move on with their life.  Easier said than done, really.  At this moment of my life, it's like everything & everyone moves on except me.  I'm not moving on, just stopping, in my own thoughts.  Something like those scenes played in movies.  Weird feeling but definitely true, that feeling.  I just felt like ranting for a bit, hoping that typing all these help a bit.  But blogging this doesn't really help yeah.  I just feel like i could do more to stop feeling like this but I'm not exactly sure what I should do.

A heart-to-heart talk with some friends @ starbucks/coffee bean might just do the trick.. but I can't seem to take the first step to make this happen 'cause who are my true friends anyway?  :(

Give me an answer.

What happens when we're being ostracise by society for our actions and thoughts?  What can we really do?

Does studies really matter that much? 

Why do people even come to their own conclusions and unknowingly judge people anyway?

Why is human nature so damn complicated?

So what if we're different from the rest, those deem as normal people - those who study then work for the rest of their lives?

Why is society structured in such a way that I can hardly breathe don't want to continue breathing?

Am I feeling what I'm feeling now because I'm a teenager? 







Seriously, I could use an answer.